The quiet all around me

I am sitting here in my room and there is no noise. No screaming, kicking, hitting, yelling, running, nothing! My kids have been gone for 2 days now and I have missed them but also I have loved having some quiet time. I have forgotten what it is like to just have quiet. It is so nice. I haven't been sleeping well but i have really enjoyed the quiet. I really went through some stuff before they left. I started having nightmares about one of kids getting hurt. It is the first time I have been away from the twins so that was hard. I cried when mom drove away with them. Mom sent me pictures to show me that they are fine and having a great time. I will try to post some if I can figure out how to do it. They will be home on Saturday and I will be glad to see all of them but I just have to thank God for this break because I was on the verge of losing it. Thank you.

the heat is getting to me!!

Ok, It has been over 100 degrees for the last few weeks and that means my kids can't go outside and play. We have no shade so they must stay inside. Due to high gas prices we can't go out a whole lot. Mostly just to church on Sunday and Wednesday. Maybe a trip to Walmart. In other words, I have been trapped in this house with four kids and I am going insane!! School starts in 2 weeks and I cannot wait!! My mom is coming to get all 4 and take them home with her next week and I cannot wait!! I haven't had any time away from my kids in-wow-I can't remember. The trip to mom's will be the 1st time the twins have been away from me for more than a few hours. I have no time to myself. I feel like a horrible mom because I want time away from the kids. I don't even know who I am anymore. I got lost in this shuffle of family life. How is that? How do you lose your identity in your own family? Will I ever find myself again or is that being selfish? I don't have a clue!! I love my children with all my heart but I have to find a way to find who Raegan is again so I can be the best mom I can be.